People Can’t Get Enough Of The Trump “Four Seasons” Presser
The garage-band-style event for Trump’s failed reelection campaign is, naturally, drawing mockery as a symbolic end — in a parking lot, between a sex shop and crematorium.
Of all the political spectacles that can bring a sparkle to progressives’ eyes, the Trump campaign’s failed re-election press conference at Philadelphia’s Four Seasons Total Landscaping, nestled between a sex shop and a crematorium, ranks pretty high. (See also: Steve Bannon getting arrested by USPS agents on a yacht and, oh, Joe Biden winning the 2020 election.)
On Saturday morning, Rudy Giuliani, formerly known as America’s mayor, spoke at a podium in front of a white garage door plastered with Trump signs in Pennsylvania, as news broke that President-elect Joe Biden flipped the state to secure the election. Giuliani, one of the president’s personal lawyers, had appeared to schedule the event, at a small business in a decidedly blue part of the city, to reiterate the campaign’s baseless allegations about voter fraud.
“Joe Frazier is still voting here — kind of hard, since he died five years ago,” Giuliani said. “Also Will Smith’s father has voted here twice since he died. I don’t know how he votes, because his vote is secret. In Philadelphia, they keep the votes of dead people secret.”
The tick-tock of events that apparently led to the choice in venue is not entirely clear, though a paper trail on the president’s Twitter has left some clues.
On Saturday morning, the president first tweeted, “big press conference” at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia — leading many to believe that Trump, a former reality television star with no prior government experience but a whole lot of experience in putting his name on buildings and hotels, meant a luxury hotel (Remember the golden escalator?). The president soon followed up, clarifying that the briefing would be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, which is described on LinkedIn as a “woman-owned minority business.” (The president’s campaign and the White House declined comment to the New York Times on the snafu, further raising eyebrows.)
The Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia tweeted a clarification of its own, too, saying Trump’s conference “will NOT be held at Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia. It will be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping— no relation with the hotel.”
To clarify, President Trump’s press conference will NOT be held at Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia.— Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia at Comcast Center (@FSPhiladelphia) November 7, 2020
It will be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping— no relation with the hotel.
Naturally, the apparent slip-up generated a bunch of jokes online. BuzzFeed News reported that the business has been reborn in virtual reality, complemented by “rejoicing furries.”
Last night I dreamed I went to Four Seasons Total Landscaping again.— Margaret P Houston (@HoustonMargaret) November 9, 2020
I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium. pic.twitter.com/P45HV1daD9— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) November 8, 2020
Four Seasons Total Landscaping is also my secret code name for a bikini wax.— Emmy Rossum (@emmyrossum) November 7, 2020
I woke up early, still laughing at Rudy Giuliani spewing bullshit from an industrial lot between a crematorium and dildo shop, having booked a press conference into the Four Seasons...wait for it...Total Landscaping. The Trumpist incompetence that delivers this coda. Magical.— David Simon (@AoDespair) November 8, 2020
The business itself on Sunday sought to clarify its role in the booking via Facebook post, noting that “it saddens us that we have received such harsh judgement.”
“Our team at Four Seasons would have proudly hosted any presidential candidate’s campaign at our business,” the post reads. “We strongly believe in America and in democracy.”
For anyone interested, Four Seasons Total Landscaping, founded in 1992, as of Monday is selling merch including T-shirts and stickers with phrases such as “Make America Rake Again” and “Lawn and Order.” The neighboring sex shop, Fantasy Island Adult Bookstore, said Monday that since Giuliani's visit, the business is thriving.
The bookstore wrote on Facebook: "With the chaos of the scheduling screwup by former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani our business has quadrupled new adult toys books and other items selling like hotcakes waiting for more UPS orders of our existing stock products."
After Biden spoke on Saturday night for the first time since news outlets called the race, Trump’s adviser Corey Lewandowski tweeted on Sunday: “All great Americans in PA use Four Seasons Total Landscaping. They love this country and are American Patriots. Thank you!!”
And as if this series of events isn’t enough, Politico reported on Monday that one of the event’s speakers, a self-described GOP poll watcher, is a convicted sex offender.