Chrissy Teigen Shares Emotional Essay After Losing Her Baby Mid-Pregnancy
The author and host spoke out for the first time since she and husband John Legend revealed last month that they had lost their baby while Teigen was 20 weeks pregnant.
Chrissy Teigen broke her silence for the first time on Tuesday since she announced earlier this month she had lost her son Jack mid-pregnancy.
The cookbook author and host posted an emotional essay to her more than 13 million followers on Twitter, detailing her grief and thanking her supporters after she and husband John Legend lost their son while she was 20 weeks pregnant.
In the essay, Teigen shared that she was on bedrest for a month and was consistently bleeding every day, as she had shared on social media throughout the pregnancy. Teigen wrote that she was then admitted to the hospital after the bleeding got worse.
“My bleeding was getting heavier and heavier. The fluid around Jack had become very low — he was barely able to float around,” Teigen wrote. “At this point I had already come to terms with what would happen: I would have an epidural and be induced to deliver our 20 week old, a boy that would have never survived in my belly.”
Teigen continued: “After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.”
Teigen wrote that after Jack was born, she and her family had a chance to hold him.
“My mom, John and I each held him and said our own private goodbyes, mom sobbing through Thai prayer. I asked the nurses to show me his hands and feet and I kissed them over and over and over again,” she wrote. “I have no idea when I stopped. It could have been 10 minutes or an hour.”
On September 30, Teigen shared that she and Legend lost their baby with a series of emotional photos. In Tuesday’s essay, Teigen revealed that she urged Legend to take the photos no matter “how uncomfortable” they were.
“[John] hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever,” Teigen continued. “I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.”
After Teigen posted the photos, people started sharing their painful stories of miscarriages and pregnancy loss — many of whom said they suffered in silence and felt shame. Several people praised Teigen for being so open about losing her son and spreading awareness about pregnancy and infant loss.
“Many shared incredible personal experiences, some shared books and poems,” she continued. “Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories.”
Teigen also slammed the people who criticized her for sharing a personal experience publicly, saying “the thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done,” Teigen wrote. “I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
Teigen said that her heart feels full from her two children, Luna and Miles, and from the outpouring of support she has received after going public with her story. She also urged people to share their own stories and to “be kind.”
“The moments of kindness have been nothing short of beautiful. I went to a store where the checkout lady quietly added flowers to my cart. Sometimes people will approach me with a note,” she continued. “The worst part is knowing there are so many women that won’t get these quiet moments of joy from strangers. I beg you to please share your stories and to please be kind to those pouring their hearts out.”